Tinder Alternatives of the Future

For those of you that don't know, Tinder is essentially a dating app where you are presented with a picture of a person's face and then you swipe left if you don't find them attractive and right if you do. Even though it is based upon the objectification of people by creating matches centered solely on their outward appearance, the app is still wildly popular. Since I believe that relationships should probably have more to do with what makes a person who they are rather than what their face looks like, I have compiled a list of other complicated aspects of people's lives that could be chosen based on superficial criteria. So, if you're struggling to make a difficult life decision that should require deep thought and maybe a pros/cons list, be sure to check out these Tinder alternatives that will reduce that important decision to a measly swipe or tap on your smartphone.

1. Preacher - Choosing the right religion for yourself can be incredibly hard. You have to find one that coincides with your own personal beliefs, but also doesn't incessantly get made fun of by adult cartoons. It has to guide you in the right direction, but leave much of the work to you to deal with on your own. On the Preacher app, an infographic describing each religion will pop up. After you read through it, you will then be given the option to swipe to the right if the religion seems like something that suits your lifestyle or swipe left if you'd rather not associate yourself with that particular religion.

2. Educator - Aside from cost, available majors and minors, reputation, and location, the thing people care about most when applying to college is how aesthetically pleasing its buildings are. Sure, you could choose a college based upon its ratings and how a degree from that particular university would stack up against comparable degrees from other schools when applying for jobs. You could even go downright insane and apply to colleges that offer a major that falls into one of your categories of interest. Of course, that is all crazy talk. Download the Educator app! Swipe right to apply to a college because it has pretty brick buildings and the actors they hired to pose in their pictures were attractive. Or, swipe left because the residence halls aren't rectangular enough to suit your needs. As everyone knows, or appears to know judging by the success of Tinder: it's what's on the outside that counts.

3. Breadwinner - With the current American unemployment rate hovering around 6.0%, there are millions of people across this country who desperately need a job. As many of them have found, going into businesses and requesting a job application is not as effective as it used to be. Or, if they manage to find a job, it's at a terrible location and the business is owned and operated by horrible people. These job hunters need a quick, reliable way to get a job on their own terms. That's where the Breadwinner app comes into play. Log in to the simple interface and immediately be presented with brief, vague information about a job. If the broad description sounds like something you could envision yourself doing, swipe to the right to be instantly obligated to complete the job or be fined $2000. The jobs range all the way from bank robbery to being the CEO of a massive corporation.

Photo Source: http://www.digital.nyc/news/sweat-equity-benchmark-takes-stake-in-tinder-in-exchange-for-matt-cohler-joining-board

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2048 To Be Next Flappy Bird

Almost everybody with a smartphone has encountered the game Flappy Bird at one time or another. For those of you who somehow managed to avoid to avoid the massive craze, Flappy Bird was a game in which the user controlled a cartoon bird who flew between pipes that appeared at different heights. Tapping the screen would cause the bird to flap its wings and go higher while not tapping would cause it to fall. The game was made famous by its ability to cause even the most level-headed person to fly (or flap) into a state of fury. Numerous cell phones were destroyed, holes were punched in walls, fights broke out, and one boy even murdered his brother because his brother got a higher score than him. This game was basically a digital version of crystal meth or cocaine. Sadly, the game was removed from the app store a couple of months ago. Now, in its place, there is a new game known as 2048. This game is played by sliding numbered tiles around a 4x4 board. The smallest tile value is 2 and when two 2 tiles are slide into each other, they combine to make a 4; two 4s make an 8, two 8s make a 16, etc. The ultimate goal of the game is to get one tile that equals 2048 and it's pretty much freaking impossible. The frustration when you get a high-valued tile just to have it blocked in by lesser tiles is paralleled only by being stuck behind a school bus that has stops at every single house on a ten-mile long road with a double yellow line down the middle. The sheer rage that boils inside the user as they continually fail to even reach 512 provides enough energy to keep a small village in Antarctica warm for weeks. Even though it infuriates its users, it is a wildly popular game across the country. It is even educational as it teaches you about exponents and how they work to make you stare at your phone's screen for hours attempting to reach the golden number: 2048. If you play 2048 and have actually beaten it, leave a comment below stating your name and what your other super powers are.

Photo Source: http://ironyca.wordpress.com/2014/03/20/strategy-guide-to-winning-the-2048-game/

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