Football Fans Questioning Beliefs

Super Bowl XLVIII (or 48 for those of you who can't read "those stinkin' letter numbers") was held almost three months ago on February 2, 2014. Football fans in living rooms across the country cheered and yelled for over three hours as if the players could hear them. The foundations of sports bars trembled as bellows of drunken fans echoed off of the poorly-cooked chicken wings and glasses of cheap draught beer. However, none of these people wasting a Sunday evening could compare to the fans who were actually able to attend the game. Over 82,000 people, losing voices and minds left and right, screamed their heads off at 22 other people wrestling over an inflated ball of Ms. Piggy's skin. In preparation for the Super Bowl these people invested hundreds, in some cases thousands of dollars in getting tickets, transportation, lodging, and food. After arriving at the stadium, they fought massive crowds to get to their seats and suffered permanent hearing damage from the noise created by their fellow spectators. Now, almost three months later, the football fans are realizing that their expenses were basically for nothing. "I just had this gut feeling that if I went to the game and cheered my favorite team to a victory then my life would get exponentially better," said Ernest Smith, an attendee of Super Bowl XLVIII. "I had a whole lot riding on this. I bought stocks, a new car, and put a down payment on a new house. I even souped up my lawnmower for racin'. I just assumed my team winning would affect my own life." It seems that Ernest's beliefs don't just apply to him. Almost all of the spectators at this year's game have filed for bankruptcy as a result of thinking the game's outcome would improve their lives. Some of the people who suffered the most have started to petition the NFL to announce over the loud speaker at the beginning of every quarter that the outcome of the game will not affect the lives of fans. "Nobody warned us. We bought those tickets thinking we'd get some serious return out of them," said Judy Armstead, head petitioner. It is being predicted that Super Bowl ticket sales will hit an all time low this year due to the public disappointment of these spectators. Trashcans all over the country are overflowing with NFL memorabilia as die hard football fans question their belief in the power of the sport to change their lives. If you're still interested in going to the Super Bowl after learning that the outcome will in no way benefit you, you can buy tickets at dirt cheap prices for next year online right now. There's no need to rush, though. There's sure to be a few thousand empty seats after the aforementioned debacle. 

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