Tooth Fairy Has a Shocking Secret

Everyone remembers the days of yanking hard chunks of enamel out of their face and putting them under their pillow for a magical fairy to take and replace with money. Until recently it was assumed that the Tooth Fairy sold the teeth she confiscated on the black market to toothless meth addicts who wanted to look normal again. When a hiker stumbled into a cave in South America on Saturday afternoon, the world's view of the Tooth Fairy changed forever. Upon entering the cave the man saw towers of teeth shaped into all sorts of sculptures of teeth, toothbrushes, and toothpaste tubes. On a table made of molars the man saw lines of crushed teeth next to rolled up twenty dollar bills and razor blades. Pushing further into the cave, the hiker found the Tooth Fairy curled into a ball on the floor next to her bed made of teeth. Wide-eyed and shaking, the fairy was repeatedly mumbling, "Need more teeth. Canines, molars, incisors." After checking the fairy's vital signs, the hiker called 911 and waited for an ambulance. When the paramedics arrived they took the tweaking Tooth Fairy to the hospital where she was treated for drug overdose symptoms. It seems that the Tooth Fairy doesn't take teeth to sell them on the black market as previously believed, but instead she uses them to help her to take the edge off of breaking into people's houses to steal their teeth. Years of using the drug, which she has termed Kavitee, has lead to an extreme addiction that has been terribly detrimental to her health. After she leaves the hospital, the Tooth Fairy will be enrolled in a addict recovery facility where hopefully she will break her addiction to Kavitee and be able to return her theft of teeth for years to come.

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