Five Songs That Need To Be Taken Literally
"Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus - Sometimes, when things in your life are going poorly, demolition is the answer. Rip off your clothes, find a crane and a wrecking ball, and smash down the walls of your school, work, or house depending on where your problems lie. Results are instant and you'll get to show off that sweet farmer's tan you've been working on.
"All Gold Everything" by Trinidad James - For most people, money is the biggest motivator. Gold translates to money so why not have all gold everything? Get a gold car, a gold tooth, a gold iPhone, and break out the gold spray paint and make your dog look like the centerpiece of a French fountain. And in honor of Mr. James: Paint yourself gold and go for a jog, have a heat stroke and lay like a log, need a CPR kiss like princess and frog, all gold everything on the B Rubble blog!
"Drop Dead Legs" by Van Halen - First, we need to address why you robbed a grave to remove the dead guy's legs in the first place. He died peacefully and then you have to go and disturb his eternal slumber like that? Second, drop them like David Lee Roth said. Where were you even going to take them?
"Hey Brother" by Avicii - It's been a while since you called your brother. He hates his job, his kids are loud, and his car broke down twice on the way to work this morning. Why don't you take a page out of Avicii's book and give your brother a ring? He needs you now more than ever. Go to him.
"99 Problems" by Jay Z - You're struggling in math and practice makes perfect. Open your book to page 394 and do 99 problems a night until you're able to teach math to Steven Hawking. Maybe you'll be able to explain how the sum of every number from 1 to infinity equals -1/12 according to string theory. If you can't do that, then do another 99 problems. "You got 99 problems and an F ain't one, hit me!"
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