Time Travel Creates New Breed of Hipster

Mankind has always been fascinated with the concept of time travel, and for good reason. How amazing would it be if we could go forward in time and see who the next president will be so we can bandwagon vote or see if our grandkids are going to be rich and famous one day so we know if they deserve good Christmas presents or not. The rich and famous kids get good presents while the other kids get a whole lotta nothing, simple as that. Rachel Harleton, a scientist who has dedicated her life to making time travel a reality, has finally made hurtling through time an activity that anyone can enjoy. "You don't even need a Deloreon. You just put on thick-rimmed glasses, a scarf, a shirt from the 1980's, buy a penny-farthing, and work at an overpriced record store. You will immediately fly backwards in time to Woodstock and sometimes even further." says Dr. Harleton. Hipsters immediately got to work complaining about present times and bragging about how they had heard of bands way before anyone else, all in hopes of getting to time travel. When they do travel, they make sure to grab a souvenir to bring back to show to all of their friends to prove that they are the hippiest hipsters. This has lead to a whole new breed of hipster: the hipsters that technically did hear of every band before everyone else. At first glance, this does not seem like a big problem. However, the level of smugness was already reaching catastrophic levels before this type of time travel was invented. Now that hipsters can actually prove that they were the first to hear of bands or wear out-of-style clothes, the volume of arrogance in the world has become so great that it is becoming difficult to breathe. The world will end soon if nothing is done to stop the hipsters from ruining the world for everyone more so than they already have. Dr. Harleton has been seen in her lab in the fetal position repeatedly saying, "I didn't know. I DIDN'T KNOW!" Building Rubble asks hipsters to take a few seconds out of their days of annoying every single person they come into contact with to remove their scarves or glasses for the sake of humanity.

Photo Source: http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2013-12/16/urban-tribes-algorithm