Kid Is Most Improved

A child in Macon, Georgia was awarded the "Most Improved" award earlier this week and it has sent the entire city into an uproar. "He got all F's!" says one of the boys classmates. Intrigued, we delved further into the story to see what was going on. It would appear that they boy did, in fact get straight Fs this year. However, he was technically the most improved student. "He received a zero on every assignment he turned in for the entire first semester. His worksheets were riddled with slurs, symbols, and hateful comments about teachers' wages. We all just thought he was crazy. During the second semester, he ran out of material so he decided to actually do the assignments. That's when we realized he was not only crazy, but he was also stupid," says Ryan Denton, the boy's geometry teacher. In his second semester, the boy began to receive F's instead of zeros on his assignments. While F's are not much better, they are still a vast improvement over zeros. The principal of the schools says they are required to give the award based on numerical grade improvement. The boy has the award framed on the wall of his room next to a portrait of Stalin, a machete, and the teeth of the first animal he ever killed by strangulation. He's going places.

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