Wi-Fi Becomes Main Dish

We live in a society where everyone is glued to their cell phones and laptops almost constantly. It has gotten to the point where restaurants have started to advertise their free Wi-Fi instead of their meals, and it’s working! Studies show that restaurants are more likely to go out of business if they do not offer free Wi-Fi. One customer at a restaurant/Wi-Fi hotspot said, “This burger wouldn’t taste half as good if it didn’t come with a large helping of free Internet on the side. I don’t eat anything I can’t Instagram.” In theory, this phenomenon would anger restaurant owners, but the reality is much different. “If I offer free Wi-Fi, everyone is so distracted by their phones that they don’t care how the food tastes. I’m saving thousands!” said the owner of a tofu bar in Venice Beach, CA. It seems that every restaurant owner has the same idea. High-quality chefs are being fired left and right in order to use the money that was once their salaries to fund faster and more reliable Wi-Fi connections. Food conditions have dropped from FDA-approved quality to food that is illegal to serve to animals. One would imagine this would cause a problem with the health inspectors, but, once again, Wi-Fi saves the day. “I had an inspector in here last week that didn’t look at his food once the entire time he was here,” said the manager of a Mexican restaurant in Austin, TX. This manager’s experience seems to be a common occurrence across the nation. No matter how terrible the food quality, restaurants are still receiving high marks simply because the Wi-Fi they provide completely distracts the inspectors. Food poisoning is on the rise, but with WebMD readily available at every restaurant, everyone knows to stop eating and go back to their phones.

Photo Source: http://www.bubblews.com/news/3060170-wifi-in-my-house