TSA Ruins Airport Terminal Romance

, by Building Rubble

It's the climactic scene near the end of countless romantic comedies: the leading lady is about to board a plane to some far away country and at the last second a man she's been dating shows up and stops her from getting on the plane. There's a touching monologue, they kiss, and then they walk away from the terminal, wasting incredibly expensive plane tickets and causing a huge disturbance throughout the airport as the man practically assaulted 47 people during his initial mad dash to the terminal. 

Nowadays, thanks to the TSA, moments like these are no longer possible, unless they're planned several hours in advance. This fact was discovered firsthand by Ronald Miller, a 26 year old romantic who, in an attempt to rekindle the fire that had been lost in his relationship, struggled through airport security on Wednesday to stop his girlfriend, Monica, from boarding a flight to Singapore. After having to remove his belt, shoes, wallet, keys, and cell phone, Miller stepped through the metal detector only to have it be triggered by the necklace he had been wearing and forgotten to take off. 

"After getting through the detector and getting all of my stuff back, I started running towards the terminal," Miller recalls. "Three security officers started chasing me, but I didn't slow down because I was already running late. Out of nowhere, another office tackles me to the ground and slaps handcuffs on my wrists. They drag me to a white room where they performed the dreaded strip and cavity searches." 

After redressing and recovering from this ordeal and explaining why he was running through the airport, Miller took off once again and arrived at the terminal only to find that the flight had left 24 minutes before he got there. Assuming that his late arrival was just fate, he decided to get something to drink at the airport Starbucks at 240% of the regular cost and walked calmly back to his car where he sat and waited for his girlfriend's plane to land.


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