Walmart Greeter as First Job

A local woman recently gave birth to a child suffering a disease popularized by the movie “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”. The child was born with a full head of gray hair, stood six feet tall, and, like most infants, was unable to walk. The child can be seen at Walmart doing his very best to mutter the words “Welcome to Walmart,” between sobs and diaper changes. Walmart customers saying that the greeter attempted to steal their car keys have filed several complaints. He once actually succeeded in obtaining a set of keys; he was later seen sitting in the corner jingling them and laughing to the point of tears. When asked about these complaints, the manager of the store said, “Aside from scaring people, the boy isn’t hurting anybody. I’m sure we’re breaking some sort of child labor laws, but no one has said a word about it yet. The boy looks like an 85 year old man. I’d be surprised if we ever get into trouble for this.” We attempted to interview the child, but his words were unintelligible and were unable to be transcribed for this article.

Photo Source: http://www.csrwire.com/members/12774-Wal-Mart-Stores-Inc-