Ebola!

Sure, it sounds like the name of a sassy clairvoyant who stars in a 90's sitcom. It also just so happens that it likes to contort itself into the shape of a treble clef because its a show-off. It's Ebola and, according to the mainstream media, you WILL get it if you've ever known anyone who's ever flown over a state where Ebola is now wreaking havoc.

Leaving your home at a time like this is basically like handwriting and wax sealing a formal letter to the Virus Gods asking them to spoon-feed you a dollop of Ebola pudding. You may think I'm being overprotective and warning you against things that probably won't happen. You may think that Ebola can only be spread by coming into contact with the bodily fluids of an infected person. Ask yourself, if that's true, then how would anyone contract the disease in the first place? Unless everyone in West Africa is slip-n-sliding through rivers of infected blood and excrement, it sure sounds like Ebola can be transmitted through something other than bodily fluids.

In America, it's common to be lulled into a false sense of security. None of the terrible things that happen in other countries seem like they will ever make it to us. Until, of course, they do. Ebola arrived in Dallas, Texas and has now infected a doctor involved with Doctors Without Borders living in New York. This guy was kind enough to put into action what he learned in preschool and share his deadly virus with a bowling alley and the driver of an Uber car. His "Ebola Without Borders" attitude may have infected dozens of other people, but at least he was able to work on his bowling game and then feel good about himself by taking advantage of the ride sharing phenomena.

If you're hungry, sit back and pour yourself E-bowl-a cereal while you sit quarantined in your place of residence. As you peek out the window at your hemorrhaging neighbors, rest easy knowing that you warned them about the disease and they just laughed in your face. When you were taking your daily showers in hand sanitizer and buying stock in disinfecting products, your neighbors were busy going to work and putting their lives at risk. Maybe they should have read this article before it was too late and realized the real threat that is Ebola.

Photo Source: http://www.cnn.com/2014/08/07/world/ebola-virus-q-and-a/